2020 Vision

My relationship status with New Year's resolutions: It's Complicated

We all make them. Even if we say we aren’t. Heck, even when we think we aren’t. We do.

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Healthy Life

Most New Year’s resolutions have to do with heath:

  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Routine
  • Doctor’s appointments
  • or, I’m gonna floss every day.

Well, that last one is never gonna happen. Many apologies to my hard working dental hygienist. But most of us look at the new year as a good opportunity to change something up in our daily lives that hasn’t been serving us well.

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Home Life

Which leads me to the next category of traditional resolutions,

  • Cleaning
  • Organizing
  • Meal planning
  • Schedule
  • or, I’m gonna make my bed every day.

Yup, that last one ain’t gonna happen either. I make my bed two to three times a week. Once is when I change the sheets. So, it’s all good.

Did you know that Psychology Today conducted a study on people who do (and don’t) make their beds? Really! They found that 59% of adults don’t do it. So, you are likely in good company. However, the people who do make their beds tend to be happier people.

Bed making aside, many of us struggle with keeping our homes in order. We live in a consumerist, semi-disposable culture, which means our homes aren’t just where we live with those we love, it is also where we accumulate our stuff, and with 3 kids ages 16-21, we have a lot of stuff in this house.

There’s guilt in having so much stuff you can’t keep it organized. Then you have the guilt of throwing away belongings that no longer serve any purpose in your family life. It’s a cycle.

And I haven’t even touched on laundry, meal planning, budgeting or quality family time – maybe I can save that truckload of guilt for another blog.

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Time

While we are dealing with trying to exercise, organize and make our beds, experts tell us moms (and other parental figures) that we are supposed to make time for ourselves, to feed our souls, or some such nonsense.

Let me clarify: Feeding your soul is not nonsense. The nonsense is that “experts” think we have time to do it.

AND NO… EXERCISE TIME IS NOT “ME” TIME!

Anything you do to keep you alive – like eating or breathing or bathing – is NOT “mom time.” You should get time for these things everyday, but of course we don’t. On average, I can say that I go one day a week without showering. It’s usually a day after I took a night shower – because I didn’t have time to shower that morning.

And then, there’s guilt for not having the time to do the things we believe are important.

  • Being a good mom/parent
  • Being a good spouse/partner
  • Taking care of the home
  • Taking care of ourselves

GUILT

That one got a title in ALL CAPS.

New Year’s resolutions are often the result of or end up in GUILT.

We didn’t do something well last year – or for the last decade – so we want to fix it. Or we try to do something better, only to not be able to comply with our own stringent demands, so we break the resolutions we set.

Doing better is a good goal. Oprah said that Maya Angelou said that “When you know better, you do better.” I think those are good words to live by.

Where to start, and how to not get overwhelmed? If you don’t have the answer to that, you are not alone. And heck, not having those answers can lead to more guilt.

2020 Vision

No guilt! I am still setting up my 2020 Vision Board. It’s not a physical board. Like all good things, it’s on Pinterest. It’s a digital look into my brain. What’s in there so far:

  • Disney planning
  • Girls trips
  • Gluten-free ideas (more on that in another blog)
  • Outfits
  • Yoga stuff
  • Inspirational quotes I like
  • Gratitude: My theme for the year
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What isn’t on my 2020 Vision Board?

  • Not one pin about feeling guilty for not being perfect!

To resolve or not to resolve?

That is the question. Only you can answer that.

I have a few goals that aren’t inflexible resolutions:

  • Go gluten-free-ish: I seem to be sensitive to it, so I’m gonna try it for a few weeks, but I am still learning.
  • More yoga: I tend to be happier and more productive throughout the day if I get in an early practice several times a week, and my studio added new classes for the new year, so YAY!
  • Purge the house of stuff: Forget organizing. I have tried for years. It hasn’t worked. I know I need to reduce the amount of stuff in this house by no less than 33% (50% would be better, but I am not crazy). I’ll keep you posted.

That’s a good start. When I begin thinking of the other things I need to get done, or how to do better, I get a bit overwhelmed. I like lists of 3s. So that will do for now.

What are your resolutions and non-resolutions this year? If nothing else, live your crazy life the way you want to, and toss the guilt out with the rest of the clutter.

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2020 Vision - Pin

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